What a beautiful day it was; my marriage day to Laura. May 22 held blue skies and hopes of a bright future. We had very little money, but enjoyed a honeymoon on a shoestring in Florida. We reached a secluded small hotel on the seashore outside of Ft. Lauderdale. There was a beautiful sunset over the Atlantic. I couldn't wait to jump into the ocean for a swim. Laura declined a swim and watched me safely from the shore. It seemed odd that I was the only swimmer to be seen. I noticed about a dozen small boats just off-shore. When I asked about this at the front desk, I was told it was an annual shark fishing competition. Thus starts my life of marriage.
Our shared love helped us to overcome many challenges, including barely having enough money to buy food. We had a shared dream of both getting graduate degrees, and buying a house and raising a family. We were married for 10 years before having our first child. I had a job offer to move to South Carolina, and we bought our first house in Spartanburg. There we grew a family of two wonderful daughters. Much love was evident through those early years, but stress began to take its toll. Laura and I would take long walks in a state park near our home. Those walks were imbued with much dissension and anger. A pivotal point of our arguments was money; never having enough, no matter how much was earned. These cracks in the marital covenant began to widen as the years rolled on. In 1997 we moved to Nashville, TN since I was hired for a new job.
In the year 1999 we took our family to the Thanksgiving Day parade in New York City. Our oldest daughter's marching band was part of the parade. It was a wonderful experience, except I had tremendous migraine headaches. When we got home from the airport, I could not climb the stairs to our bedroom. The next day Laura took me to an urgent care doctor's office. The doctor took many tests, and told me to go immediately to the area hospital. After entrance into the cancer ward, I was given transfusions, and then transferred to the Vanderbilt University Medical Center. I was admitted to an isolation ward with a diagnosis of Promylositic Leukemia. I spent almost 3 months there, going through a tortuous regimen of chemotherapy. I lost almost 50 pounds, and lost my hair.
Obviously, I recovered and am an 11 year cancer survivor! However, within 3 years after discharge from Vanderbilt Hospital, my life totally collapsed. Referring to my earlier blog, during my years of desperate addictions, my marriage came apart. Only a true addict knows how the stimulus completely takes over one's life. Again the motto, "nothing really matters" totally broke my marriage covenant. What a terrible shame, to lose a loving, caring family for a substance and/or stimulus that WON'T LET GO! It has taken many years to find the strength to stay away from that degrading life. In my next blog I may delve into that debauched life as a catharsis.
No comments:
Post a Comment